Out of the Mouths of Parents

Yesterday morning as I was helping my youngest son put on his coat and hat, he lovingly touched my upper arm and with great big beautiful eyes said, "Mommy, your arms are like pudding."  I was quickly reminded of a story a friend recently told where her son said the new perfume she was wearing smelled like pickles.  Now, to 5 year-old little boys pudding and pickles are at the top of your favorite things list.  However, to parents--specifically to moms--who are trying their very best to not look as disheveled as they may feel, these statements cut right to the heart.  Yet, our days are filled with comments such as these--comments that may sting when they are initially spoken, but make us laugh just a few minutes later.  Only kids can get away with such things.

While there are statements only children can make, there are also phrases that only work when they are spoken by a parent.  If any other adult uttered the sentence, "Don't pick your nose and put it on your sister" or "Don't bite the dog" to another adult, we would think they had lost their mind (and be somewhat worried that another adult was picking his nose or biting a dog). As parents, we say these phrases everyday and taking them out of context is always an interesting exercise in just how crazy our lives have become.  "Shoelaces are not meant to be put in your mouth," "Toothpaste is for your toothbrush, not the bathroom wall," "When we get to their house, don't tell them about the hole in your underwear."  Unfortunately, I could go on and on.  But, I want to see your list of "out of the mouths of parents"--what questions or statements do you say that only work when you are talking with your kids?