And You Thought You Really Knew Me.....

I have become somewhat addicted to Facebook.  I originally joined to keep track of my daughter's online activities and have since found myself in a frenzy over creating witty status updates, adding new "friends" and keeping track of what everyone else seems to be doing with their daily lives.  If there is a 12-step program for the addiction, I need to join it and pronto!

Having said all that, I was recently "tagged" to participate in making a list of 25 random things about myself and while I spent days avoiding taking part in such a task, I finally broke down and created my list.  Since I am really new to the blog world, I thought it would be fun to publish the list here and give all of you a little more insight into who I am--and who I am not. Enjoy!

1.  I have three wonderful children.

2.  I met my husband in a bar, but secretly want to change the encounter to be something more romantic and magical.

3.  Although I graduated from Ball State I have never met, nor think I will ever meet, David Letterman (unless of course he reads this and decides he must have me on his show).

4.  When I am running my iPod is filled with songs by Alice In Chains, Guns N' Roses and Limp Bizkit.

5.  I like my alcohol to really taste like alcohol--bring on the Tanqueray 10, straight up, very cold with a twist of lemon.  

6.  I sometimes wish my children were more like me--just the good parts, of course.

7.  I love to end my week by curling up on the couch with a wonderful read--the latest issue of In Touch or People.

8.  I have a mad crush on Jon Stewart (and Paul Konrad, the morning weatherman on WGN in Chicago).

9.  I used to have a mad crush on Jeremy Piven but he lost his luster with this whole "mercury poisoning" thing.

10.  I religiously watched Mad Men on AMC and the Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo (I know, complete opposite ends of the spectrum).

11.  I cannot kick the coffee habit--I've tried.

12.  I absolutely love my job--I have fantastic clients that always give me smart, interesting projects.

13.  My perfect date night with my husband:  A sandwich and beer from Bar Louis (although not as good as the Chicago original) and then heading over to Barnes & Noble and Restoration Hardware.  Ah, the glamorous life of a suburbanite.

14.  I wish I lived just a little closer to family--not too close, but closer.

15.  My favorite part of winter mornings is watching Nate carry Jack's snow boots into school.  It is a very quick reminder of just how deep the brother bond really is (and makes up for the fact that he pushed his head into the kitchen floor the night before).

16.  I still miss my Chicago Parent life--the witty banter of my sales team, cold pizza on production nights, the endless inside jokes that made it feel like family, paying too much for a chicken salad sandwich at George's and having Gus grab a Diet Coke from the back just to make sure you get a really cold one.  Good times, good times.

17.  I love that my daughter is mortified every time I try to do something modern:  texting my friends, adding her downloaded songs to my playlist, etc.

18.  I am completely fascinated with Facebook and how all these different areas of my life seem to come together in one little homemade community.

19.  Having said that, I now have a deep fear that people will figure out that I'm not really that cool or together (I realize most of you have already figured this out).

20.  I have a wonderful group of friends--past and present--that make me laugh, push me to do things I would never do and keep me on my intellectual toes.

21.  I want to become friends with Bonnie Hunt.

22.  I love ending the day by dancing with my 5 year-old son while listening to Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett and Dean Martin (his favorite:  Dean's "Ain't That A Kick In The Head").

23.  I wish they would have had Rock Band around when I was little--it certainly beats "Mr. Microphone."

24.  I love Chicago--everything about that city makes me happy and I am so glad it is just a train ride away.

25.  I think my family members do such cool and brave things--I admire them all very, very much.

Out of the Mouths of Parents

Yesterday morning as I was helping my youngest son put on his coat and hat, he lovingly touched my upper arm and with great big beautiful eyes said, "Mommy, your arms are like pudding."  I was quickly reminded of a story a friend recently told where her son said the new perfume she was wearing smelled like pickles.  Now, to 5 year-old little boys pudding and pickles are at the top of your favorite things list.  However, to parents--specifically to moms--who are trying their very best to not look as disheveled as they may feel, these statements cut right to the heart.  Yet, our days are filled with comments such as these--comments that may sting when they are initially spoken, but make us laugh just a few minutes later.  Only kids can get away with such things.

While there are statements only children can make, there are also phrases that only work when they are spoken by a parent.  If any other adult uttered the sentence, "Don't pick your nose and put it on your sister" or "Don't bite the dog" to another adult, we would think they had lost their mind (and be somewhat worried that another adult was picking his nose or biting a dog). As parents, we say these phrases everyday and taking them out of context is always an interesting exercise in just how crazy our lives have become.  "Shoelaces are not meant to be put in your mouth," "Toothpaste is for your toothbrush, not the bathroom wall," "When we get to their house, don't tell them about the hole in your underwear."  Unfortunately, I could go on and on.  But, I want to see your list of "out of the mouths of parents"--what questions or statements do you say that only work when you are talking with your kids?  

The Secrets of a "Go To Mom"

I very rarely get to hang my hat on the "experienced parent" peg.  I have never been the mom with a magical bag of tricks that can soothe a teething toddler, bandage a skinned knee, wipe a runny nose or quickly ease the hunger pangs of a teenager with my extra granola bars and package of cheese crackers.  I am the mom scrambling to find a still wet "Wet One" in the cushions of my backseat and rushing back home from baseball practice to retrieve the water bottle I left in the refrigerator.  

We all know those moms who never forget a practice, are never late with their field trip permission slips and who always seem to have a spare Band-Aid or Kleenex in their bag.  I used to be envious of their perfectly scheduled calendars and clean car interiors and would spend countless hours trying to discover the secret to being a "go to mom."  Did they take classes on how to color-code kid programs and sporting events?  Was there a secret document that clearly outlined the steps to take to get into the right camps?  How did they always seem to know exactly what to do--and more importantly, what to expect?

I have come to embrace my laid-back parenting style and am content not being the "go to mom." Then it happened.  My youngest entered kindergarten--and because I had been down the kindergarten road two times before--I was starting to become the "go to mom."  I knew which days were best for buying hot lunch, when to send snow boots and how to organize a sports snack list.  Parents were following my lead and seeking my advice.  When did I transition from the mom who forgot to bring her son's helmet to football practice or who sent her daughter to school without reeds for her clarinet to the mom who had it all together?   

It appears all you really need to move into this new parenting plateau is age and experience. Who knew?  

What's with the name of this blog?

Several years ago when the Internet was still new and computers were not always found on every office desk, spell check only contained the basic words found in the most mainstream of dictionaries.  Therefore, when you typed in a proper name it often came up with numerous "real word" spell check options--making it possible for each of us to have spell check names. While most names appeared as something obscure and ridiculous, I was told by a colleague that my spell check name perfectly suited my personality.  My name?  Patio Mingling.  

It is somewhat an ideal moniker--after all, I like nothing more than to spend wonderful evenings on the patio mingling with my family and friends.  But, what I really like most about the words is what they represent about storytelling and conversations.  I believe the very best stories are those told through dialogue--not monologue--and what I love most about participating in "patio mingling" is the sharing of various insights and perspectives.  

So, as I embark on my first-ever blog, I thought the spell check name of the past just might be the perfect way to describe what I hope to be a place where my stories of life as a mom, wife and writer spark insightful conversations.  In short, I'm hoping to build my own online patio--just fit for mingling.